Redefining Success on Your Own Terms: A Child of Immigrant Story

The Uncomfortable Truth About “Success”

For many, especially those who grew up in immigrant families, success was defined long before they could define it themselves. It meant achievement, stability, respectability. You went after it diligently: advanced degrees, promotions, maybe a home in a good neighborhood. But at some point, you looked around and felt the quiet question: Why doesn’t this feel like me?

This moment isn’t a sign of failure. It’s the sign of awakening. It’s the recognition that you may have built a life that satisfies the people who raised you, but not the person you’ve become.

Whose Dream Are You Living?

As children of immigrants, you often inherit unspoken contracts:

• “You must make our sacrifices worth it.”

• “Do something practical.”

• “Choose a path that guarantees safety.”

We internalize these messages early, and they influence the decisions that follow. Many high-achieving professionals realize years later that their drive for external validation is a quiet echo of their family’s survival story.

Your parents’ version of success was likely born from fear — fear of scarcity, instability, or exclusion. Their dream for you was safety. But safety and fulfillment aren’t the same thing.

Redefining Achievement: From Checklist to Compass

Redefining success begins with self-inquiry — the kind of questions most of us were never taught to ask.

1. Start with reflection.
Ask yourself:

• When I imagine success, whose voice do I hear? Mine, or someone else’s?

• Which goals make me feel alive, and which make me feel exhausted?

• What achievements feel aligned with my values — not just my résumé?

Write your answers. Don’t edit them. Let them surprise you.

2. Notice the pattern.
Look for the ways you’ve followed external definitions: choosing prestige over joy, predictability over growth, or admiration over peace. Awareness turns obligation into choice.

3. Redefine success as alignment, not approval.
Success isn’t a static destination — it’s a moving relationship between your inner values and your outer life. It’s feeling that your efforts express who you are, not who you were told to be.

4. Use your insight as a compass.
Once you see the gap between “their success” and “your success,” you can decide your next step consciously. That may mean exploring a new path, setting boundaries at work, or simply reclaiming space for what truly matters to you.

Rewriting the Future

Reclaiming your definition of success is not betrayal — it’s evolution. You’re not rejecting your roots; you’re letting them nourish a life that reflects your truth.

When you redefine success, you don’t lose what your family built. You expand it.

Coaching Connection

At Your Power to Thrive, I help immigrant and multicultural professionals untangle the inherited expectations that shape their ambition. Together, we rediscover what “success” feels like when it’s no longer borrowed — it’s yours. Book a discovery session to start designing success that feels like you.